Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Good ol days.Nothing like spending money on booze booze and more booze to drown my sorrows away.And thanks to abul for always being there for me.Yesterday,after meeting abg amy,i went i reached home at about 11p.m .Kept thinking about her and thought that i needed to drink.As if like abul knows i needed companion,he called right at the moment.Met up with him at about 3:30 a.m and headed to 100+ coffeeshop and drank like nobody's business.I fucking ignored the pain but strangely,the pain is not as extreme as it used to be.Just for yesterday night,$80 bucks gone on drinks.God knows how many i drank.Abul didnt drink tho,he was there to just accompany me.As for today,met up with abul,amin and shah to slack.We walked and walked till we reached Pasir Ris central express coffeeshop.Wanted to eat but there's nothing nice and decided to go to changi.Ate there and walked around till we got bored.We then decided to head home and change clothes and wear shoes.Met up again and we went to geylang.Just like the good ol fanatic days.I wanted to drink so we did at the coffeeshop at lorong 18.After drinking beer,i needed something heavier.Bought 3 bottles of king roberts and hailed a cab to Pasir Ris Park.Drank and drank again pain striking me.Fucking ignored it.I'm bam.I'm used to pain.On the second bottle,i made a mistake by taking out my phone and out comes her pic.Broke down almost immediately.Wiped it off and decided to look for victims.Nothing happened there so we decided to walk home.While walking at the connector,2 chinese guys were walking as if they wanted to fly.Abul "hung" them and it started.Felt good.As for tomorrow,i'll be going to nee soon and get my angkong made :D .$80 bucks left from $400 in just 2 nights -.- .Sigh,can't bear to say this but i miss her.
Missing my Baby Bushuk
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Hati siapakah mampu menahan rasa terkilan Setelah percintaan dihujani halangan Sia-sialah aku berkorban selama ini Andai dirimu tak mampu aku milikiPernah jua ku terluka dihiris belati tajam Walaupun rasa pedih masih mampu ku menahan Tapi kini aku luka erti luka perasaan Walaupun tak berdarah bisa buat aku gundahKutahu cintamu amat kuat untuk diri ini Namun tak memberi erti Jurang pemisah di antara kita Makin hampir ketara (chorus repeat 2x)Hina sangatkah aku pada pandangan keluargamu Hingga sewenang tohmahan dilemparkan Engkau hanya bisu melihat aku Yang bermatian seorang menepis hinaanOh kasih andai ini kesudahan Ikhtiarku tiada lagi Walau kita saling sayang Terpaksa kuundur diri Agar tiada pihak terluka kerna kitaKau dipaksa lupakan aku Dengan rela kau menurut Ku terpaksa lepaskan mu Walau sayangku bertautNo words can describe the pain i felt.Tears rolled down my cheeks upon seeing the message.All my effort is not appreciated.All my sacrifices went unnoticed.All my time wasted.All my love left ignored.This might be my last post as it is no use to write about my life anymore.Will still come in to look at Fauzi's blog.Will not be celebrating new yr's this year.Happy new yr's to everyone out there.
Missing my baby bushuk
Friday, December 26, 2008
Hina sangatkah aku pada pandangan keluargamu?
Friday, December 19, 2008
Just updating on to fill this so called online notebook.The good thing about this blog is that u get to post wadever u want and nobody can stop u.You can even get feedbacks,advice and sometimes help from the readers that read ur blog and tag in the tag collumn.You get to express how u feel,wad u are feeling and everything.But of course,every good thing comes with something bad such as tag haters.Well,best thing to do is simply ignore.Dun reply to their taggs and they will get bored with it.And for those hate taggers that doesn't stop even after being ignored,it just goes to show wad a nice life they have.Hope this post covers it.I do have something else to update on but i dun feel like updating it yet.To make it easier,lets just put it this way.I GAVE UP ON LIFE. Until next time.
Missing My Princess
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Just to update on my life and wad's happening these past few days.On sat night,i went to Zouk-out with omar and hamry.It has been awhile since i last hung out with them.I didnt plan on going but when they asked me along,last minute plan i might add.I practially had to rush after they asked me along.That's how last minute it was.Met up with them at Vivo City at 8:30 p.m and we slacked outside Harbour Front while waiting for Hamry's friends to arrive.We drank a carton of heineken and just talked about life and wad has been going on in our love life and such.In our love life,Omar is the luckiest 1 of all even tho of all the heartbreak he has been going through with his ex.I'm happy for u Omar.Really am.Can't say the same for me and Hamry tho.But yea,i'm the worse hit.At about 9:15,his friends came and wow,all are familiar faces to me.All four of his friends,and i mean all,stayed around my area and they were also shocked to see me.It's like we know each other but have never really talked.They are a noisy bunch of people who just loves to party and girls.And oh..smoking weed too.We bought another carton of beer and after finishing the beers and introducing each other,we headed to sentosa.We have liquor with us but the amount of bottles we had when we reached there was like omg.Met Hamry's elder brother and u can already see like 5 bottles of liquor.Not even adding the ones we had with us.Absolute raspberry,chivas,Jim Beam,Jack daniels.U name it,it was there.To drink among 10 people -.- .Finished off the absolutes like smirnoff,raspberry and such.I stopped when it reached to the black liquor.I know i cant handle black liquor.Didn't finish the drinks as we all are fucking high so we put them into the locker and headed in.The music was awesome.Atmosphere fantastic,but i wasn't there to enjoy myself.I was there to spend time with Omar and Hamry and to soak in the feeling of being outside.Saw eliana and qash.Approached them but the look that qash gave me makes me feel like slapping her face.Maybe its something she told her or talked to her about me.I don't care.They are girls and i don't fucking care about girls anymore.Have nothing against them but i had already gave up on girls,like literally.Was happy to see Omar and hamry's friends dancing all day long and no girls were involve.Just us guys.Well,for omar that is,not for Hamry's friends.Me and hamry just stood around and talking to eah other.Commenting about how stupid the girls dresses up and such.Hamry even laughed at Qash and eliana."nak step mane nye maut jer".So true.lol.Kept messaging seretly with her when Omar is dancing.Headed home alone,as usual.Feels fucking different going out without her.Went out again in the afternoon to my cousins chalet and headed home tomorrow morning.Have not realli slept for the past 4-5 days and not eating well.Nothing more to update as i dun feel like talking about something.Until next time.
Missing my baby bushuk
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Arrrgghh!!! Everything is not going right with me.My mother is bitching at me from morning till now.I hate this.What is wrong with me not going out? i don't go out and she bickers.I go out alot she bickers.What the fuck does she want me to do?And it's not that i dun wanna eat,i just dun have the appetite to eat.And tats also wrong?I have never raised my voice at my mum but i'm almost at the breaking point.I already have lots of things on my mind.She should be happy that i'm at home and not outside beating people up or getting into trouble.And of course,she also bickers at me about my daughter.They said it was okay with them when i said i wanted to lead my normal life and be with yani.And now she's bickering at me cause she doesnt get to see her often and has to pay her duit nafkah.Just dun pay it then.I don't bloody care if i'll get imprisoned.I don't even know if that's my daughter.SHe has no facial features that resembles me.Fuck life. And i miss my princess soo much :'(.
Missing my baby bushuk
I fucking miss her!!!!!! Its has been 3 or 4 days since i last heard her voice and to me,its like going through hell over and over again.It will kill me i swear.I miss the old times where i get to tag at her blog freely,whenever i want and wadever i want but now i cant.I would tag and she would tag back while we are on the phone talking.I miss those times :( .I don't even know if she knows wad i'm going through right now.She texted me yesterday but i have a feeling that she doesnt want me to text her back as she is at her brother's place.It's good to know that she is having fun and relaxing alot.I'm trying to have fun myself but it is soo hard for me.I can't even leave the room without thinking of her.Okay,"n" lvl results will be out soon and i'm fucking scared.Y u might ask? well,honestly,i'm not scared of failure but the teachers at Mercu have high expectations of me even those that doesnt teach me for example Mr Hamdan.I dun blame them tho as i have been consistently scoring high marks for the tests is school and they expect me to achieve better grades.But wad grade is better than A1 cause that is wad i have scoring for the tests in school.For people that knows me well,they will know that i do not like to let other people down.The thing is,i'll be taking the results alone.Wad if i dissappoint them? I'll be very upset then and there's no one to cheer me up.I was hoping she would be there to cheer me up cause she is the only 1 that can really cheer me up.Enough said about "n" lvls. Me and sidah chatted yesterday and we were talking about opening a club or a pub.That is not my area at all.I mean i have the connections but not with the government.As for sidah,she is worried that the crowd will not come in.And i am worried as i don't even know how and where do we get the liecense to open up a legal club.lol.As capital wise,sidah has savings.I know she does.She used to earn more than 5k per month,kinda impossible she doesnt have savings right? and her dad left her money and so has her grandfather.She is good on capital wise.Sigh.We talk about that when we have time k sis? And baby,i hope u have fun tonight.I might be going to zouk-out tonight.But its not confirmed.Most probably not cause i cant even picture myself leaving the house much more going to zouk-out.I love u baby and will always do no matter what happens.
Missing my baby bushuk
Friday, December 12, 2008
arghhhh....fucking miss her soo god damn much!!!!! i wish that she could just text me once...just once :( ....she is going over to her bro's place today...hope she has fun there like she always does... okay..random post -.-
Missing my baby bushuk
It's been so long that
I haven't seen your face
Im tryna be strong
But the strength I have is washing away
It wont be long before i get you by my side
And just hold you, tease you, squeeze you till
I was fill all my mind
I wanna make up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
Wish we never broke up right now now now
we need to link up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
Wish we never broke up right now now now
we need to link up right now now now
Girl I know mistake were made between us two
And we show our eyes that now even says somethings weren't true
watch you go and haven't seen my girl since then
why can it be the way it was
cuz you were my homie lover friend
I wanna make up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
Wish we never broke up right now now now
we need to link up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
Wish we never broke up right now now now
we need to link up right now now now
I can't lie
I miss you much
Watching everyday that goes by
I miss you much
Tell i get you back
Im gone try
I miss you much
coz you are the apple in my eye
Girl I miss you much
I miss you much
I can't lie
I miss you much
Watching everyday that goes by
I miss you much
Tell i get you back
I m gonna try
I miss you much
You are the apple in my eye
I miss you much
I miss you much
I wanna make up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
Wish we never broke up right now now now
we need to link up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
Wish we never broke up right now now now
we need to link up right now now now
I want you to fly with me
want you to fly
I miss how you lie with me
miss I how you lie jus
wish you could dine with me
wish you could dine
the one that'll grind with me with me
said the one that'll grind with me
I want you to fly with me
want you to fly
I miss how you lie with me
miss I how you lie
I wish you could dine with me
wish you could dine
the one that'll grind with me with me
said the one that'll grind with me
I wanna make up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
Wish we never broke up right now now now
we need to link up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
Wish we never broke up right now now now
we need to link up right now now now
It's 8:45 a.m now and i have not slept a wink for the past 2 days or more.I can't even keep track of the days.I miss hearing her voice soo much :( .Everytime minute goes by without me not thinking of her.Went out at about 3 a.m for a little walk at the connector but ended up jogging 3 laps of it and did some exercises at the fitness corner.Reached home feeling tired and exhausted so i thought after a good bathe i could have a good sleep.I thought wrong.Argggghh!! I hate this.I hate my life.I hate me.I feel like i wanna end it all.Drown my feelings with drinks but i had already promised her,i didnt drink anymore.It is not easy as it is a habit of me to drink whenever i feel down or upset or both.Sigh.My mum is starting to bitch at me now.My cousin just called asking me if i still wanted to go to zouk out as i have already paid him for the ticket.If not,he'll just sell the ticket to his friend.I really don't know if i am going so i told him i'll confirm with him by tomorrow evening.I soo miss her!!!!! arghh!!!!! She means the whole world to me.She is my light,my everything.
Missing my baby bushuk alot :(
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Heya people! It's afew minutes to 5 p.m and i'm bored and like literally have been staying in my room for the past day or so.Only time i went out of my room is to get cigarettes and water.I dun even feel like eating anymore.So wad did i do? I just lazed around in bed,reading my artemis fowl books,listen to the radio and lifting weights.Have not slept for the past 2 days.It just doesnt seem right.Things i go through for that someone's happiness eh? Khai,Qayyum and abg amy asked me to go out but i declined.Haiz.I got a feeling that she went clubbing either yesterday,today or on both.Well i hope she is enjoying herself with her friends and guys.How do i know? I must say a pure love instincts is like always correct.But not always tho.Missing her like crazy but there's nothing i can do.Perhaps this is how life is.Oh well,year 2009 is just round the corner.I'm soo getting ready for the shit's it's going to throw at me.Until next time.
Missing my baby bushuk
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Harlo people.I'm so bored with nothing to do.It's 4:10 p.m atm and i still have not slept.Has just been lazing around in bed doing nothing since ermm 2 a.m? Yea,life is fucked up.Really is different without her texting me eventho it is just telling me that she has just woke up.But it makes my day and puts a smile on my face.Not gonna get that anymore.Back to misery i guess.But it's not like i have not been tru it before right? 8 days left till my results are out.Looks like i'll be taking them alone.No one to share my joy nor sorrows with.The promise she made to follow me to take the results will have to be buried.Sometimes i think to myself,Am i an idiot or am i a bloody fool? If i have done things myself,would things turn out this way? Am i regretting taking people's advice? Truth is i don't know.This is the 1st time i'm following people's advice as i am the kind that usually think for myself and make my own decisions.Sometimes i wonder to myself,are promises ment to be broken? or are they ment to be kept?Enouf of following people's advice and time to make my own.Since she wants out,i'll let her be.But i will always love her.Forever.
Missing my baby bushuk
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Heya people! been awhile since i last updated,No.Ages since i did.lol.Anyways there's nothing much to blog about that is why i didnt.Same old boring shit happening and no point in me updating.These past few weeks the only fun thing was when i went out with qayyum and her to play bowling at e-hub.Haikal came late and joined us in pool.After playing pool,we walked around for abit and went to eat at express coffeeshop at central.Had a few laughs here and there because of haikal's stupidity and his gangsterism questions.lol.Headed home after that.Kinda sad tho,she can spend the whole day from morning with her friend but only spend a few hrs with me.These past few days,i have been neglected,ignored and not listened to.But yea,why does it matter right? she's not my gf anymore.Anyways,can't blog much now,received a call from arip and he got problem with budak2 tanglin halt around his area and me and abul are going down there.Sigh,if only i still have my rotito.Oh well,bare hands will work i guess.But only if there's no other way out.I need to get ready now.Until next time!
Missing my baby bushuk